This week of Christmas has been deeply bittersweet as I reflect on the two-year journey of a precious friendship with someone 20 years my senior—a friendship that began in tension and misunderstanding but blossomed into one of the greatest gifts of my life. Her past was marked by deep pain and scars that often triggered emotions and reactions that made our relationship challenging to navigate at times.
But through grace and patience, we gave each other the time and space we needed to heal and grow.
Slowly, we moved toward one another again, allowing God to work in our hearts and bring restoration. That journey of reconciliation became a testament to His faithfulness and His power to mend even the most fragile of relationships.
It is with a tender heart that I share how my dear friend entered the presence of Jesus on His birthday, Christmas Day. Just two days before her body began to fail, I spent an entire day with her at the care facility. We talked, shared memories, and simply enjoyed the gift of one another’s company. That day is now a treasure etched in my heart. Only a month earlier, she and I were sitting in the mall parking lot, laughing and telling stories after a fun evening at the movies and dinner at Chick-fil-A.
It was one of those unassuming but unforgettable moments of joy, a reminder of how precious and fleeting our time together truly is.
For the past eight months, every Wednesday was a sacred rhythm of going to her house, reading Scripture together, praying, and sharing our hearts. We encouraged one another in our faith and walked through life’s challenges hand in hand. Those moments were filled with the grace and beauty of God’s presence, teaching me so much about His design for community and the deep blessing of intentional, Christ-centered relationships.
Through this friendship, I’ve been reminded of the power of reconciliation and the richness that comes when we allow God to heal and strengthen our connections with others. God intentionally places people in our lives to bless, challenge, and refine us. As I reflect on the journey my friend and I shared, I am filled with gratitude for how God used this relationship to draw us closer to Him and to one another.
This experience has inspired me to consider how I can be more intentional in cultivating relationships that align to our God-given design. Though it isn’t always easy, living with grace, forgiveness, and purpose in our connections brings immeasurable blessings and joy. My friend’s life, her faith, and our time together will always remind me of the beauty and depth of relationships aligned with God’s love.
May this reflection encourage you to treasure the relationships in your own life and pursue them with intention, knowing that through them, God invites us to experience His love in powerful and transformative ways.
Below are eight examples and stories from my friendship with my dear friend that I invite you to consider as valuable reminders for nurturing our relationships in 2025 with intentionality, grace, and biblical principles:
1. Cultivate Strong Communication
In our friendship, communication wasn’t always easy at first. Her past pains often surfaced during our conversations, and at times, I didn’t fully understand her reactions. One Wednesday, while reading Scripture together, she shared something deeply personal, and instead of jumping to conclusions, I listened quietly and validated her feelings. Over time, we experienced how this cultivated a safe space for both of us and we began to open up more, learning to vulnerably share our hearts in humility, without assuming we had all the right answers or had to “fix” each other. These moments built trust between us and allowed us to strengthen our bond so we could courageously wrestle with God’s truth alongside one another, allowing Him to touch and heal the deep wounds of both our lives.
• Practice active listening and open, curious questions of non-judgment and honest communication with your loved ones. This builds trust and understanding, allowing relationships to grow deeper.
• Share your heart in a way that reflects humility and grace (Ephesians 4:29). Avoid criticism or assumptions, which can erode closeness.
2. Focus on God-Centered Relationships
Every Wednesday, our time together centered around God. We read Scripture, prayed, and encouraged one another in our faith journeys. I still remember a time when I shared how God had been teaching me about my identity and value, and she, in turn, shared a passage from the Psalms that had been giving her hope. These shared moments of spiritual growth became the foundation of our relationship and reminded me of the importance of keeping God at the center.
• Pray for and with your family and friends. Inviting God into your relationships allows His love and wisdom to guide them.
• Encourage each other to grow spiritually (Hebrews 10:24-25). For example, consider doing devotionals together or simply sharing what God is teaching you.
3. Offer Grace and Forgiveness
Our friendship taught me the power of grace. Early on, we had a difficult moment where we disagreed over something small, but it brought up deep-seated hurts from her past. Instead of reacting defensively, I prayed for wisdom to approach her with love. We gave each other space, and later, I apologized for my part and expressed understanding. She also apologized and extended forgiveness, and through that, we experienced the beauty of reconciliation. It was a turning point that strengthened our connection in the strongest of ways.
• Relationships thrive when we extend grace, just as Christ has extended grace to us. Learn to forgive quickly and seek reconciliation when conflict arises (Colossians 3:13).
• Choose to see others through the lens of Christ’s love, focusing on their God-given worth rather than their flaws.
4. Be Intentional with Time
One of my favorite memories is the evening we spent at the movies, followed by eating a fun dinner of Chick-fil-A sandwiches and French fries in my car. Sitting and eating together in the mall parking lot, laughing and sharing stories, felt so ordinary yet so special. These intentional moments of joy and presence helped me realize how important it is to set aside distractions and focus on simply being with the people you care about.
• Spend quality time with loved ones, whether through shared meals, meaningful conversations, or fun activities. Moments of connection deepen bonds.
• Prioritize being fully present and engaged rather than distracted by technology or tasks.
5. Encourage Each Other’s Gifts
One day, while talking about her struggles, I reminded her of the incredible wisdom and strength God had given her. I pointed out how she used her experiences to encourage others and bring them hope. She was deeply moved and began to see her gifts in a new light. Similarly, she often affirmed my own abilities, encouraging me in my calling and reminding me of God’s purpose for my life.
• Speak life into your relationships by recognizing and affirming the unique gifts God has given each person (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
• Encourage them to live out their God-given purpose, just as you aim to do in your own life.
6. Seek Mutual Growth
Our friendship wasn’t just about giving or receiving; it was about growing together. Whether it was through studying Scripture, praying for each other, or sharing life’s joys and challenges, we sharpened one another’s faith. She once said, “You help me see God’s promises more clearly and in fresh new ways,” and I realized how God had used our connection to refine both of us. We often called each other “my fellow sojourner.”
• Be intentional about growing together in Christlikeness. This could include attending church together, engaging in service projects, or literally taking a brisk walk together as you wrestle through personal and practical applications of hard truths in God’s Word.
• Support each other during challenges, recognizing that God often works through others to refine and strengthen us (Proverbs 27:17).
7. Set Healthy Boundaries
There were times when her past struggles created moments of tension, and we needed to lovingly set boundaries to protect the relationship. For instance, if a conversation became overwhelming, I’d gently suggest taking a break and coming back to it later. We also were careful to honor one another’s time, mindful to watch the clock and kept our visits to the time we allotted. When we didn’t feel we could physically meet up, we agreed to meet via the phone, or just skip that week, without harboring any hard feelings (or false assumptions). These boundaries ensured our friendship remained respectful and allowed us both to feel safe and valued.
• Boundaries protect relationships by ensuring respect and understanding. They allow love to flow freely without enabling unhealthy patterns.
• Pray for wisdom to navigate boundaries with honesty, discernment and love.
8. Invite Gratitude into Your Relationships
I often expressed how thankful I was for her friendship, openness and the wisdom she shared with me. After our Wednesdays together, I would reflect on how God had used her to encourage my faith and send her a text to let her know. In her final weeks, we would text one another sharing how much we meant to one another and how grateful we were for the time had spent together. Her smile in those moments reminded me of how powerful gratitude can be in nurturing relationships.
• Regularly express gratitude for the people in your life. This shifts your perspective to see them as blessings, even in challenging seasons.
• Share how God has used them to encourage or bless you, reinforcing their value in your life.
Through these experiences, I learned to value and cherish our relationship in ways that aligned with God’s design for community and family. Her life and our journey together have left a lasting impact on my heart, inspiring me to approach all my relationships with the same intentionality, grace, and love.
What resonates most with you as you reflect on these practices?
How might God be calling you to nurture your own relationships as we enter the New Year?
What particular support or accountability might work best for you as you cultivate deeper relationships this year?
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